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Dos & Don’ts for coaches
©2006 oldschoolsportsparenting.com
Coaches are grownups and they know what
they’re getting into before they take the job. So I’m not ready to throw
them a big Pity Party every time they feel undervalued.
Still, it’s a demanding and often thankless
job that few people are willing to tackle at any level. The challenge of
helping youngsters master fundamental skills, and the pressure of developing
successful game strategies, are tough enough. Then you
have to deal with unruly fans, irate parents, unsupportive administrators,
immature kids – and a pay scale that a fast-food clerk would laugh at
(assuming you’re not an unpaid volunteer!).
The best coaches I’ve known live by a set
of unwritten rules designed to meet these challenges head-on. Here’s how I’d
summarize them.
Be accountable to your
players, first.
Never blame the kids. Not in public, not in
private, not even in your thoughts. You’re being paid to make them better.
Part of that is motivating them to want to be better. If you can’t motivate
and improve your players, you’re in the wrong profession. No school produces
class after class of naturally hard-working, competitive, team-oriented,
motivated athletes. It’s a coach’s job to instill those skills and values in players. Anyone can pick good players. It takes a real coach to grow them from
scratch.
Never engage a parent who wants to discuss his kid’s role on the team.
Tell parents before the season that you
will absolutely, positively, hang up on them if they call with this agenda.
Then do it. These conversations should take place between you and the
player, only. If you find yourself cornered by an irate parent, the best
response is silence. Let ‘em rant till they run out of steam. Even the
biggest hot air balloon runs out of gas eventually.
Remember that not all
parents are clueless, self-centered morons.
Many are highly accomplished professionals
and can assimilate their experiences to yours. Some may even have coached or
played sports at a very high level, themselves. If you happen to find
yourself accidentally engaged in conversation with them at the team banquet
or some other off-season setting, don’t be afraid to listen (assuming
they’re not railing on and on about their kid). You might learn something.
Be honest with kids ...
If you bench them, tell them exactly why
and tell them exactly what they have to do to regain their playing time. If
you doubt their work ethic or competitive drive -- or even if you dislike
them, personally -- tell them. Don’t think you’re fooling them or their
teammates. Kids see and understand much more than you think.
... but temper your honesty
with encouragement.
Competition is part of sport. If you have
to tell a kid that, for now, someone else is better than he is, leave him
with the feeling that he can improve and earn his way up the depth chart.
Let him know you'll be watching him closely to see how hard he competes and
whether he improves. Not only will it help that youngster remain
enthused and motivated, but it will also help the youngster ahead of him,
who must come to practice and compete and hustle every day, to avoid losing
his spot on the starting team.
Create a system that
allows kids to move up on the depth chart.
Kids deserve to know what it takes to be a
starter or at least to earn playing time. If you can’t lay it out clearly,
then you deserve the complaints you’re going to get. Wrestling has the best
system I’ve seen: If the team has two kids who wrestle at the same weight,
they simply wrestle each other and the winner gets to be in the upcoming
match. Other sports need similar "challenge" systems. I’ve seen it done in
football and basketball. No reason it can’t be done in other sports, too,
with a little creativity. Any system is better than no system.
Encourage (or at least
tolerate) multi-sport athletes.
Preventing kids from playing more than one
sport is bullying in its purest form. Coaches tend to justify such
ultimatums by telling
kids one of two things: 1)that they need the off-season to improve and move up
the depth chart; or, 2)that their particular sport can be a ticket to college
opportunities. Either of these may well be true, but neither one gives you
the right to hold a youngster hostage. If the player develops single-minded
passion for your sport on his own, congratulations. If he doesn’t, and he
falls behind other kids in his skills and conditioning, too bad for him.
Either way, his performance during your sport’s season should be the only
thing that determines his role on the team and his status with college
recruiters.
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