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Dos & Don’ts for student-athletes ©2006 oldschoolsportsparenting.com Playing time and parental expectations are the two biggest challenges a student athlete faces. The first one is as old as athletic competition, itself. Kids have always wanted to "get into the game." But the second is a fairly new challenge. When I played youth and high school sports, most parents were little more than passive observers. Today, they’re more like personal trainers, business agents and sports psychologists. It’s not entirely bad that parents are more involved in their kids’ sports activities. But when their involvement mutates into intrusion and interference -- when it poses a bigger challenge to the kid than the sport, itself, poses -- Houston, we have a problem. We’re fast approaching that day. And I believe that kids -- the student athletes, themselves -- can play a big part in stopping that trend. They need to regain control of their own athletic experiences. They can’t necessarily force adults out of the picture. But they can do a lot to force themselves back into it. Here’s how. If you want to get into the game, be one of the best players on your team. If you can’t be one of the best players on your team, either you’re not working hard enough or you need to pick a different sport or a different level of competition that better fits your talent and passion. It’s as simple as that. In competitive sports, the only way to make sure you’ll get into the game is to be better than the players ahead of you. All coaches are different. But they have one thing in common: They like to win, and they like kids who help them win. Unless you spend every available hour working at your sport, don’t complain about starting positions or playing time. If you want to play multiple sports and still get into the game, be one of the best players on all your teams. The best way to counter a territorial coach who demands that you focus on his sport year-round is to be better than the kids who do focus on his sport year-round. Scared you’ll burn out? Then don’t play so many sports. Or, scale back your workouts and accept that you’ll be a substitute on some of the teams. Fight your own battles. If you have a team-related problem and you need to talk to your parents about it, fine. But they should never talk to your coach about it. Trust me when I tell you, as a coach, myself, phone calls from parents will hurt you more than helping you. Even if your parents have a legitimate gripe, the fact that they’re on the phone fighting your battles says a great deal about both you and them. And none of it is good. Trust your passions and instincts. Try not to be overly influenced by people who tell you to stick to a certain sport, "because that’s where you’re most likely to earn a scholarship." Same goes for people who keep warning you that your coach is "giving you the shaft," or that a certain teammate is "all for himself." Once you reach age 10 or so, you can read people pretty well for yourself. I’m not suggesting you disrespect your parents or mistrust the guidance they offer. But there’s a fine line between guidance and pressure. If your parents are forcing you into sports-related decisions that go against your own instincts and passions, tell them you respect them and want their advice, but you need to sort out many of these things for yourself. They might not back off right away, but if you remind them enough times, they’ll get it. Home Feedback |