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©2008 oldschoolsportsparenting.com Q: "If a kid makes the cut on a competitive team, the coach should commit to playing him a fair amount. When kids don't get a chance to start or play extensive minutes, they’ll leave and join another team. Or, they’ll quit altogether, and decide other activities seem more enjoyable than watching other kids play. Can you blame them?" A: No, I can’t blame them at all if they quit because their coach doesn’t play them "a fair amount." The difference between you and me is you seem to view that as a failing, and I see it as a perfect example of how things ought to be.Kids who lack the passion and perseverance to stick with a competitive team until they earn a starting spot or significant playing time should not be playing that sport at that level. If that means the roster shrinks, so be it. All that proves is there aren’t enough talented, passionate kids to field a team at that level from your community. Maybe the majority of kids in your area would rather play on a more recreational team where everyone gets "a fair amount" of playing time, regardless of ability. Maybe they’d rather play another sport or find another hobby, altogether. For that matter, maybe they’d rather be spectators than players. A coach’s only obligation, in competitive sports, is to define what it takes to earn playing time, and then to implement as fair a system as possible for evaluating players and moving them up and down the depth chart. "Committing" to play them a certain amount is not part of that process. Believe it or not, some kids will respond to this challenge not by quitting the team, but by redoubling their efforts to improve. Likewise, some parents will respond not by shopping their kid around to another team, but by calmly listing for him the three different ways to handle it, and leaving the choice up to him. Those choices are: 1. Accept your role as a benchsitter, and quit whining about it. 2. Get better than the other kids. 3. Quit the team and/or the sport. The point is, competitive sports are not the "inclusive" activity that many parents want them to be. They are, by nature, exclusive to those who have the passion and talent to … well, to compete. For everyone else, there are playgrounds, intramurals and video games. |