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Sports parenting
No-nonsense strategies for teaching young athletes about
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Q:  "My 11th Grade daughter has had great success playing volleyball on travel teams. But in her small high school, she gets very little playing time.  She's taller and stronger than one player ahead of her. This player is a senior and I know that the coach favors seniors. The other person ahead of her is a freshman who's probably more agile than my daughter, so she can maybe get a few more digs.  My daughter worked out over the summer and did very well in tests at tryouts. I feel her hard work is not being rewarded. Unfortunately, she won't talk to the coach about this, because she's afraid she'll get less playing time. I sometimes think she's too naïve and nice. She's not a cutthroat competitor.  Her senior year is next year and I want her to enjoy her last year of sports. What can I do?
A:  Congratulations on your patience, civility and Old School persistence. A lot of ‘modern’ parents would have sued the coach and the school district, and pulled their kid off the team, under these circumstances.
 
Regardless of what kinds of travel teams the girl has played on outside of school, the real issue is: Is she a better player than the high school teammates playing ahead of her, given the competition in her team’s league? It sounds like she might not be – at least not in her coach’s eyes. And right or wrong, the coach’s perception is reality.
 
Another obstacle may be that her coach resents kids who play on travel teams outside the school. If that’s the case, I’m not sure you can do much except to have the girl give up those other teams. Not my recommendation; only you and she know her priorities.
 
Either way, I recommend that your daughter schedule a meeting with the coach as soon as possible. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. Her goal should simply be to ask what she needs to do to earn more playing time. It’s no different from asking an English teacher what extra credit she could do to improve her grade.
 
You should not attend this meeting. In fact, at your daughter’s age, a parent shouldn’t have to confront a coach about anything more controversial than the weather. Matters of playing time are between the athlete and the coach.
 
Lastly, at practice, your daughter has to find a way to outperform the kids ahead of her. If she has a chance to line up opposite them in drills, she must do so – and then beat them. Essentially, she has to change her coach’s perception of her, though performance and productivity.
 
Tell her to get her digs in at practice -- and she will play!

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