Old school
Sports parenting
No-nonsense strategies for teaching young athletes about
commitment, competitiveness & coachability
 
 
Home   Feedback

©2006 oldschoolsportsparenting.com

Reader Rant
You danced around these pet peeves but I feel you really need to nail them better:

-Any...repeat...any coach who uses their position to place THEIR kid on all star teams over more deserving, more talented kids!

-Those same coaches who love to brag they are "volunteers" which by definition means "they do - expecting nothing in return"...uh...when they place their undeserving kid on an all-star team over and above a more deserving child, they are "getting something in return" so X-NAY on the volunteer label!

-Pet peeve against: Every youth program that condones these blatant abuses of power by these so called volunteer coaches.

-Biggest pet peeve against ALL the loud mouthed parents behind the scenes who complain about this same issue yet when asked to step forward and do something...they become silent cowards... I.E. it is that public apathy that perpetuates the problem and is not part of the solution!

I would challenge any of your visitors to defend this one:

Show me a youth organization that promotes ethics and fair play that directly addresses these unfair coaching issues? Not NAYS and def not Lehigh Valley Coalition on Youth Sports Ethics either. Fact is, these all focus on making "parents" and "players" sign code of conduct pledges and the like but NONE make a coach sign anything saying THEY will not show favoritism or preferential treatment to their own child "above and beyond" all those other kids they represent and who ALL represent the betterment of the community league.

Pet peeve: Sports reporters like (NAME DELETED) who fail to investigate full fledged favoritism and blatant cheating I described here when he was presented with an opportunity to make a big story out of it. Where he COULD have made a real difference but was just as cowardly as the rest who KNOW it happens and do nothing about it. When HE had the opportunity to investigate the FACTS I had that would have absolutely shown the disgraceful level youth coaches are allowed to sink to....(NAME DELETED) did squat!

Not a pet peeve but a simple question:
Coach- without knowing you, I would question how often you saw this type of blatant favoritism where daddy/mommy coaches put their undeserving kid on all star teams? Where much more deserving kids were left off and left to cry themselves to sleep and were simply told..."life ain't fair"...by what were suppose to be mentors and role models (what a coach is suppose to be).

OK- your website...either ignore it like (NAME DELETED) or post it...up to you?
 
                                                                                                                                           Signed,
                                                                                                                                           anonymous

 
Old School Response
This reader left no reply email address, so I hope he re-visits the site and sees that I took his "Rant" seriously. He or she is obviously from my local area, the Lehigh Valley, in southeastern Pennsylvania. S/He refers to a local newspaper sports reporter, whose name I withheld -- both to avoid legal liability and because omitting his name wouldn’t dilute the reader’s rant.  The reader did mention two organizations that deal with youth sports, and I’d like to fill in a few blanks about them, before proceeding with my reply.
  1. "NAYS" is the National Alliance for Youth Sports. The group’s website (www.NAYS.org) has a "Coaches" page which discusses a certification program sponsored by the National Youth Sports Coaches Assn. (NYSCA). It says, in part, "The NYSCA volunteer coach training program is designed to sensitize volunteer coaches to their responsibilities and hold them accountable to a strict Code of Conduct defined by the NYSCA Coaches' Code of Ethics Pledge." I read the pledge and my reader is absolutely correct: It says nothing about how coaches should assign kids – whether deserving or undeserving – to All Star teams. (For more information about NAYS, please see my Site links & reviews page.)
  2. The "Lehigh Valley Coalition on Youth Sports Ethics" doesn’t exist, as far as I can tell. I believe the reader is referring to the Lehigh Valley Coalition on Sports Ethics (www.lvcose.org).  If so, again, he or she is correct: This group’s website doesn’t appear to specifically address the parent-coach-kid-All-Star connection.
OK, let’s get to the matter at hand.
 
First, yes, I have seen an occasional youth coach abuse his position by showing favoritism to his own kid (or his neighbor's kid, or a close friend's kid, or his paper carrier, or ... well, you get the point). This is a legitimate pet peeve, and I've already added it to the Pet Peeve list. Thanks for a great suggestion.
 
That said, I have two problems with this reader’s specific complaint.  The first is that he doesn’t say what, exactly, made the coach’s kid undeserving of an All Star Team appointment.  The second is how this reader is reacting to the politics of sports, of which All Star teams are simply one part.
 
As any sports parent knows, All Star team appointments are very subjective. Stats, alone, aren’t a fair benchmark. But how do you fairly assess intangibles like "performing in the clutch" or "making your teammates better"?  You can’t.  And yet, a kid who excels in these areas is certainly deserving of All Star consideration.
 
I’m not disagreeing. I’m just pointing out that these alleged injustices always have two aides, and the reader hasn't even fully presented his own side, let alone the coach’s.
 
In my experience, there are two "fair" ways to nominate kids to an All Star team: 1)a vote by all the kids on a team, sort of like electing captains; and, 2)a vote by opposing coaches and players, where each team gets a ballot and is asked to name the best players that they've played against.  Granted, both of these are still subjective.  But at least they minimize the risk of a single coach hijacking the entire process.
 
I appreciate that kids can feel mistreated when omitted from an All Star team – or even from their own team’s starting lineup. But if a kid is "crying himself to sleep" because of such a slight, I see it as an opportunity to teach him some valuable lessons in Old School sports values.  (The coach who committed the "injustice" is probably beyond repair; besides, there are plenty more "unfair" coaches where he came from. But the kid is young enough to learn from this episode.)
 
During my kids' many years in youth sports, they also were left off of some All Star teams, in favor of what I felt were "undeserving" kids. My comments to them were, "Look, every athlete eventually gets his day in the limelight, if he stays with a sport long enough. Today isn’t your day. If you’re good enough and deserving enough, you’ll make plenty of your own headlines and honors, someday. Besides, be happy for your teammates. And, at the same time, remember why you play in the first place: You play (as NFL coach Herm Edwards famously said), ‘to win the game!’ Focus on that goal. It’s the only one that counts."
 
That’s my Old School view and I’m sticking to it.

Home   Feedback