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| Home Feedback Should I transfer my kid to another high school with a better sports program? ©2006 oldschoolsportsparenting.com If you’re going to do this, do it when your youngster is a freshman or a sophomore. The odds of a successful transfer diminish greatly once your kid becomes an upperclassman, simply because he and his "new" classmates have run with their own crowds for two years or more -- a virtual lifetime, in teenager years. That said … I start from a "No" answer on this issue. Not because I don’t understand and agree with most of the reasons a parent might want to transfer a young athlete, but because the message it sends to the athlete, and the obstacles it creates for him, can too easily offset any of the benefits. It’s better to be part of the solution than part of the problem . I know there are perfectly legitimate reasons to transfer, too, and I’ll deal with them in a minute. But unless those reasons are truly of life-affecting proportions, I believe kids should be taught early on to focus on improving bad situations rather than fleeing them. It’s a selfish act. It will almost certainly hurt the teammates he’s leaving behind -- or at least will send your kid a message that he should put his personal interests before the team’s. The transfer may set your kid up for more attention from colleges. But it could backfire if he takes a me-first attitude to the next level, and ends up becoming an outcast or benchsitter because his teammates and coaches want no part of his pompous self. It may be illegal, if you’re doing it for purely athletic reasons. Check the bylaws of the organization that governs high school sports in your state or school district. Your youngster could end up being banned from high school sports for the entire season, if he attempts a transfer under false pretenses or for the wrong reasons. It’s socially and academically disruptive. Even if he transfers as an underclassman, your child will probably be a stranger in his new school for quite awhile. High-schoolers are notoriously cliquey and your kid will be the butt of whispers and jokes unless and until he finds a social group to hang with. Being part of a team may speed up the acceptance process -- provided the kids on the team see his transfer as a good thing. Otherwise, the team could be his worst enemy, especially if your kid is replacing or challenging a highly popular team member. What’s more, social acceptance -- or lack thereof -- can have a big impact on a kid’s academic progress. It goes straight to issues like confidence and mental focus, which most kids need in order to succeed in the classroom. If he doesn’t meet a core group of friends on the team and become close with them, his odds of success will drop. He could become alienated. That could carry over into his school work, and poor grades will cause recruiters to bypass him. (Recruiters tend to like kids who will actually be accepted by the Admissions Office.) And speaking of academics… Make sure the new school is at least as well-respected academically as the one he’s leaving. There’s no guarantee that your kid is going to earn an athletic scholarship or a preferred admission, just because he’s an exceptional athlete. Any number of things could set him back. He could get hurt. His performance could be subpar. If he ends up having to seek college acceptance on his academic merit, alone (I know that’s not going to happen, but humor me, for a minute), he’ll be much better off submitting a transcript from a school with solid academic standing. But, OK, suppose none of those challenges exist. Suppose your kid is just a freshman, the new school is a good academic fit, he already has many friends at the new school, and the coaches have made it clear he would be welcomed by his new teammates. What factors could make this type of transfer a serious consideration? I can think of only two: 1. Your youngster is almost certainly a scholarship-level athlete (as determined by several neutral third parties) and the coach at his current school has alienated college recruiters to the point where they wouldn’t even consider visiting the place let alone recruiting one of its players. Plus, there’s little or no chance of this coach vacating the position (or being vacated from it!) during his career there. 2. His current school is discontinuing his sport, or is changing it in a way that would severely reduce or eliminate his opportunity to reach his goals. (For example, the school has decided to downgrade the sport’s funding to either the "club" or the intramural level, rather than supporting it as a full-fledged interscholastic sport.) Although it’s still "selfish" (by definition) to leave a school for these reasons, the challenges that they represent are beyond your youngster’s ability to solve them or even adapt to them. It’s not as if your kid has chosen to flee rather than fix. "Fixing the problem" isn’t even a choice, when school district staff or policy decisions are in the way. Obviously, this is a question with no clear answers. I’ve seen it happen with no problems or repercussions, and I’ve seen it become a total disaster for everyone involved. But once you've examined all the pros and cons, there is one last question you'll want to ask: Does your youngster really want to do this? I faced the issue with my own son when he was in junior high. My only advice was that he make the decision quickly and privately, and that he focus 100% of his energy on making it work, once he decided. Beyond that, I left the decision completely in his hands. And in the end, no potential benefit of transferring could offset his desire to finish his high school career with his best friends and teammates that he’d played sports with since grade school. Obviously, his criteria were different from mine. But I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't asked. And I'm glad I did. Home Feedback |